Lackey turns us into chewing gum. Canada steps in us. We are all sad.
It’s like that. We see him coming. But there’s nothing we can do. So we stand there, helpless, and get flattened like shoe gum.
Speaking of wildly unpredictable things (<-sarcasm), Jed Lowrie is sick! Gasp!
I like how people are shocked by this. It’s JED LOWRIE, people. He is ALWAYS sick.
Welcome to the rest of your life.
It is the end of days.
There is nothing we can do but fasten our seatbelts and drive toward that far off mediocrity. So, pedal to the metal, people.
And watch out for that bird!