Home > Sox Game Recaps > Lackey turns us into chewing gum. Canada steps in us. We are all sad.

Lackey turns us into chewing gum. Canada steps in us. We are all sad.

It’s like that. We see him coming. But there’s nothing we can do. So we stand there, helpless, and get flattened like shoe gum.

SHOE GUM.

Speaking of wildly unpredictable things (<-sarcasm), Jed Lowrie is sick! Gasp!

Again.

I like how people are shocked by this. It’s JED LOWRIE, people. He is ALWAYS sick.

Welcome to the rest of your life.

It is the end of days.

~L

There is nothing we can do but fasten our seatbelts and drive toward that far off mediocrity. So, pedal to the metal, people.

And watch out for that bird!

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  1. May 12, 2011 at 7:49 am | #1

    I think I’m with your last post…I want to send Lackey back to Anaheim. This is depressing.

  2. May 12, 2011 at 10:19 am | #2

    It’s not like Lackey didn’t give you folks an effort. Y’all got almost 7 innings and 118 pitches out of him! Not like he gave up 9 earned runs or something…oh wait, he did. Well, fortunately there were only 19,163 alleged in attendance whose eyes are probably still bleeding this morning from watching his latest masterpiece. Maybe when they get to New York they could just lose him in the crowds and forget to look for him.

  3. Jup
    May 12, 2011 at 3:22 pm | #3

    The end of days apparently features far fewer clutch hits than I ever imagined. So this is how it starts to end? Sad.

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